Kenapa lelaki bersikukuh tak berpindah hati, tapi wanita selalu merasa disinggahi?
Note terpenting dari retro hari ini, menurutku adalah tentang managing expectation. Key dalam memanage expectation ini nggak lain adalah komunikasi. Mulai dari client, PO, PMO, developer, QA, sampai ke SS.
Kalo kata temenku "setuju komunikasi itu penting, tapi komunikasi berdasarkan ilmu, bukan sekadar feeling".
Jleb. Emang kadang kita lupa bahwa feeling nggak selalu benar, bahwa telinga ada untuk mendengarkan, dan bahwa mulut itu ada untuk bicara.
Komunikasi itu adalah tentang ketersampaian suatu informasi, pun menerima timbal balik atas tersampaikannya informasi tersebut. Goalnya adalah bagaimana dalam suatu komunitas menerima pemahaman yang sama, punya standar yang sama, ada dalam framework yang sama. Dan saling mengisi dalam framework tersebut.
Dan kunci dari komunikasi adalah mau bicara sekaligus mau mendengarkan.
Kata temanku lagi "kalau lagi waras, biasanya ujung-ujungnya nggak diambil pusing paling banter mikir bentar trus malah ngewajarin kalo emang masih di bawah limit".
Well, tiap orang pasti punya timing masing-masing, ketika kita nggak mau diganggu, ego meningkat, mau menang sendiri, nggak mau mendengarkan. Tapi ya disitulah letak tantangannya. Manusia nggak bisa seterusnya hidup sendiri. Pasti butuh orang lain. Maka manusia harus pintar-pintar mengatur ritme hati, tenaga, dan pikiran supaya nggak fatigue karena harus terus-terusan bersinggungan dengan orang lain.
It is okay to take a rest. But life goes on, so we need to move on. Don't be tired of people. Keep communicating what we want people to know 🙂
Theme : Darkness
In the real world, I do hate darkness. Darkness is identical to those scene in horror movies where the ghost appeared. I hate darkness so that I always sleep without turning off the lamp.
When the dark came, I am still clearly remember how it felt. Desperate. Just, ah, I hate darkness! Never do I like darkness, except when I am tired so bad that I need full rest.
In the other perspective, darkness is when I put my hope on someone. Then Allah shows me that human is just undependable.
When nobody is dependable, it always only me in this life. Just depend on my two feet, and believe that Allah is always with me.
Theme : numbers
Why it has to be 24?
1. Mom married when she was 24 yo
2. Kido/Hendra won Olympic Gold Medal when they were 24 yo
3. My Sissy married when she was 24 yo
And what is it when I am 24 yo?
1. Still being a full-employee girl
2. Being independent in life (?)
3. Still single
There is time when I hope I will marry when I am still 24 yo. But now, well, life is not only about marriage. There is no point of being hurry up to marry. It is just I am not so ready enough that God still give me time to be 'alone'.
Well, in the end of this month, I am soon to be 25 yo girl. I just want to be happy, no matter what the ways are 😁
Theme : Great Minds
Dulu, jauh ketika aku masih SMA, ketika aku dengan lebaynya (lebay, karena kalau dipikir-pikir masalahku tuh waktu itu apaan sih? Cetek amat) curhat pada temanku, dia dengan mantap bilang "Fer, kamu kayak bukan orang beriman aja". Sakiiiiit, tapi bener HAHA.
Kemudian minggu lalu, 7 tahun setelahnya, salah seorang teman kembali menyentilku dengan ucapannya, "Ya itu mah cara pikir kapitalis/materialis (pardon me, I forgot the exact phrase) banget! Yang penting mah sabar aja udah, ntar juga ada jalannya". Ya ampun, tertohok banget Mak! Sampe diriku ini berpikir "Ya Allah segitu nggak syukurnya aku, segitu nggak tawakalnya aku"!
Well, sesuai dengan tema ini, yang ingin aku sampaikan adalah, aku terkadang iri dengan mereka, bisa open-minded banget! Tapi juga bukan tanpa prinsip. Meanwhile, aku tahu prinsipku, tapi aku masih belajar menerima bahwa tidak semua orang perlu satu pikiran denganku. Terlebih untuk beberapa kasus sensitif.
Kalau aku pas sedang ngobrol dengan mereka, selalu ada saja sesuatu yang wah yang terlihat dari diri mereka, entah itu cara pandangnya, ilmunya, cara problem-solvingnya, yah, apapun! Membuat diri ini introspeksi berkali-kali!
Mungkin masih banyak kekurangan mereka, tapi setidaknya yang terlihat olehku adalah hal-hal baik dari diri mereka. Mungkin karena frekuensi interaksi kami yang tidak setiap hari.
Being open minded maybe is not that wow. And maybe I will never be one of them. But at least I want to enjoy today and be happy 😁 and to do that, I want to be open to every difference I face 🙂
7 - Everything is better when we make peace with ourselves
I used to be sceptical about that. But today, I proved it.
Before, I often said to myself, 'we are just not good enough compared to other, we are slower, weaker. Just can't catch up'.
Most of my college friend doesn't really believe if I say 'it's hard for me to catch up in this worklife'. They believe it is just natural for me to be excellent regarding how I managed my college GPA. I just want to laugh at myself HAHA. I just realized what everyone said before: 'Real life starts when you end college life'.
Due to my inferiority, sometimes I just back and forth in planning. Nothing was done. I was just lost even before starting ever. But today, I realize that one thing prevent me to improve was none but my unreasonable fear.
It is fact that I am slower, I am weaker, I am more stupid. But nothing should drag me down. It is okay to be slower, it is okay to be weaker, and it is just okay to be more stupid than others. Everything is just okay as long as I keep improving myself. Just as what my supervisor said to me, 'it is better to improve slowly than never'.
I know it seems to be an excuse from me. And that's why I thank him a lot for saying it to me. It means a lot to me. To the inferior me back then. He always put hope on me when even I don't. He trust me when I'm not. Everyone says I can achieve more than I have, but just why I can't hold more into myself?
Today, I managed to finish what I had been scared of to even start. It takes more time for me to finish, maybe. But sure, I learned a lot! And this just prove that I am still worth enough as long as I don't give up 😊
One thing I should remember is it's okay to be more flexible, to believe in others. Everyone can accept me as long as I accept them too 🙂