I used to be sceptical about that. But today, I proved it.

Before, I often said to myself, 'we are just not good enough compared to other, we are slower, weaker. Just can't catch up'.

Most of my college friend doesn't really believe if I say 'it's hard for me to catch up in this worklife'. They believe it is just natural for me to be excellent regarding how I managed my college GPA. I just want to laugh at myself HAHA. I just realized what everyone said before: 'Real life starts when you end college life'.

Due to my inferiority, sometimes I just back and forth in planning. Nothing was done. I was just lost even before starting ever. But today, I realize that one thing prevent me to improve was none but my unreasonable fear.

It is fact that I am slower, I am weaker, I am more stupid. But nothing should drag me down. It is okay to be slower, it is okay to be weaker, and it is just okay to be more stupid than others. Everything is just okay as long as I keep improving myself. Just as what my supervisor said to me, 'it is better to improve slowly than never'.

I know it seems to be an excuse from me. And that's why I thank him a lot for saying it to me. It means a lot to me. To the inferior me back then. He always put hope on me when even I don't. He trust me when I'm not. Everyone says I can achieve more than I have, but just why I can't hold more into myself?

Today, I managed to finish what I had been scared of to even start. It takes more time for me to finish, maybe. But sure, I learned a lot! And this just prove that I am still worth enough as long as I don't give up 😊

One thing I should remember is it's okay to be more flexible, to believe in others. Everyone can accept me as long as I accept them too 🙂

Theme : Not Human

If I were a boy, would I be as intovert as I am now?

If I were born normal just like other kids, would I be more confidence than the present me?

If I were the first child in the family, would I be more tough than the present me?

In every question including "if I were" phrase, most of them are dragging me down. As if I am the lowest creatures in this universe. Well, it is not like I have no positive values, is it?

Everyone has their own goods and bads, and so do I. It is clear, I know that from the very beginning. But sometimes, as life is about up and down, I couldn't help but to think negatively. It's just normal, right?

Then, I realize that it is merely because I am human. Human is greedy today, and greedier tomorrow. We want more than just good or better. We just want the best in every aspects. Perfection.

So, to think if I were not human, I would be happy for sure! To think that I were a bird which could freely fly to every corner in this Earth, nothing would compare to it, except for the time if I will be in Heaven.

If I were a bird, I would pity every human in this universe as they are busy worrying about tomorrow despite living well today.

I wish I were not human, but reality hits me hard. To think like this regularly, is of course not an option. What I can do now, is to hang in there, just like what One Ok Rock say, "and then you realize that wherever you go, there you are. Time won't stop so we keep moving on".

Tema : Eavesdropper

"Setahun nabung 50 juta tuh susah loh."

Rasa-rasanya aku mendengar kalimat itu di bulan pertama aku bekerja. Omong-omong, aku masih betah nangkring di kantor pertama.

Saat itu, aku terhenyak, betul-betul kaget dengan ucapan itu. Bukan, bukan aku tidak setuju, tapi justru karena saat itu aku bahkan tidak berpikir akan mempunyai tabungan dengan nominal sebesar itu.

Gajiku saat itu terbilang standar (mungkin hingga sekarang) untuk karyawan di bilangan Jakarta Pusat. Saat itu hingga sekarang, aku memang tidak punya tanggungan. Tak ada satu pun yang wajib aku biayai. Pengeluaranku hanya sebatas membayar sewa kamar kost, infak, uang makan, dan foya-foya.

Meski begitu, saat itu, dengan realistis aku berkata dalam hati "sudah barang tentu, 50 juta tak akan terkumpul hanya dalam setahun".

Beberapa tahun sejak saat itu, tepatnya minggu lalu, aku mengobrol dengan temanku yang sedang melanjutkan studi pascasarjana. Dan kesimpulan kami saat itu, cukup membuatku introspeksi diri. Tabungan lima puluh juta setahun, bukan angan belaka, bahkan cukup realistis.

I know, there are terms and conditions applied. Ini berlaku untuk kami, dua muda mudi lajang tanpa tanggungan. Terlebih temanku itu juga tidak mengeluarkan biaya sewa kamar kos, karena ia bermukim di Jakarta.

Satu hal yang pasti, memang harus siap hidup sederhana. Pilihlah kamar kos yang cukup murah meriah dengan tetap memperhitungkan kenyamanan. Jika bisa mendapat kamar kos di bawah 1.5 juta atau bahkan di bawah satu juta rupiah, tentu uang yang bisa ditabung pun semakin besar.

Dengan asumsi biaya sewa kamar kos murah dan rajin memasak atau sanggup makan di warteg, biaya hidup sebulan bisa saja hanya sebesar 50% gaji. Untuk gaji di kisaran 6 hingga 7 juta per bulan, tabungan selama setahun sudah mencapai 36 hingga 42 juta. Terlebih untuk orang-orang dengan gaji di atas itu. Betul betul realistis. Dapat diwujudkan, meski dengan perjuangan.

Kesimpulannya, hampir semua hal bisa diwujudkan jika diusahakan. Memang tidak bisa instan, dan butuh kesabaran. Harus pintar mencari peluang dan memanfaatkan peluang yang ada.